Go Jump in the Lake

I read something last week that I’ve read a number of times before, I’m sure, but this time it stood out to me. Luke 17:1-10, and verses 5-10 in particular. Jesus had just told his disciples how important it is (a) not to cause anyone else to fall into temptation and (b) to forgive others, even if they repeatedly sin against you. Upon hearing these simple but impossible commands, the disciples exclaim, “Show us how to increase our faith!” (To be fair, I inserted the exclamation point in there; I imagine some exasperation in the disciples’ voices.)

I identify with the disciples’ desire for greater faith. The things Jesus teaches are simple – so why can’t I just get it right?? I understand what they must have been feeling.

Frankly, I never liked Jesus’ response. He tells them that if they had even the tiniest faith, that they could command a mulberry tree to uproot itself and jump into the sea. I always took this as a reprimand to the disciples (and by extension, to me): Wow, you guys have absolutely no faith at all! If you even had a tiny little bit, you could do awesome things! But you got nothin’!

My own interpretation of Jesus’ words, I believe, reflects how I often feel about my own faith, specifically, that it is simply not enough and that I really need to get my act together. How many trees have I uprooted lately? How many?? Huh???

It occurred to me as I thought on this passage that Jesus’ words were more likely meant to encourage rather than convict: Lighten up, fellas, he was saying. Faith is so powerful that even the smallest amount of it can accomplish great things. I like how The Message relates Jesus’ response:

“You don’t need more faith. There is no ‘more’ or ‘less’ in faith. If you have a bare kernel of faith, say the size of a poppy seed, you could say to this sycamore tree, ‘Go jump in the lake,’ and it would do it.” (v. 6)

But Jesus kept going. He then tells a mini-parable about a servant and a master. Does the servant come in from a day’s work and have dinner served to him by his master? Of course not! The servant serves the master’s dinner, then goes and eats his own dinner afterwards. And does the master thank the servant? Nope. The servant should simply say, “I’m an unworthy servant and was just doing my duty.” And that’s how we should obey Jesus.

Is that encouraging? It doesn’t sound that way at first. To our ears, the words “Just do what you’re told and don’t expect any gratitude!” sound heartless and strict.

But Jesus isn’t heartless and strict, so there must be more to it.

I think Jesus was acknowledging that we may often feel as though our faith is small and weak, but that when we feel this way we must simply respond with obedience. Jesus seems to be saying, “Do you want greater faith? Work on obeying.” The irony, then, is that when we obey, we prove the reality of our own faith. If we had no faith, why would we obey?

For me, this truth falls easily into the category of Things I Know Are True But Still Can’t Fully Understand. There are many things in this category. This side of Heaven, there will always be. For now, I should simply focus on being obedient to what I know is true, to what I know Jesus has commanded me to do.

Even if he tells me to go jump in a lake.

Focus on Obedience

The past couple of months have been an interesting time for our family. In many ways, life has simply gone on. There’s school and work and church and extended family, dance classes and Halloween costumes and Juliet reaching new baby milestones. Normal, everyday stuff.

But of course, we had hoped to be blogging gleefully from the Bronx by now, so frankly, we’re not exactly where we want to be. But despite that disappointment, we are trying to focus on the positives and on the confidence we have in our calling. We do have some days when we don’t know how in the world God is going to provide all of our remaining support, and a mild panic arises within us (OK, maybe just in me – Greg), but we know that the work He started in us He will bring to completion.

In the midst of this waiting period where I can see God point us is to this: Focus on obedience. Do what you know to be right. Even if emotions get stuck, or if they succumb to a gnawing doubt, focus on obedience. We are not forgotten, we are not alone. Last Sunday at church, we got prayed for twice: once in Sunday School and then by our pastor during the service. They weren’t planned or requested, but they were encouraging reminders that we are not walking alone or in vain.

Focus on obedience. The grandest lessons are often the simplest.

This post is short and long in coming, so please forgive us. We hope to do a better job of keeping in touch in the future. Please continue to pray for us, that we would stay the course and be obedient, and that more supporters would come forward.

Just for cuteness' sake: Juliet is still a bit small for her high chair

Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!

In our last post, we spoke about the possibility of delaying our departure to the Bronx. Well, let’s have it out:

We are postponing our departure to the Bronx.

You may have guessed this already, what with the ominous hints in our "Crunch Time!" post. Yep, it’s disappointing – we’ll be honest about that. We’ve known for a month or so that delaying was not just possible, it was probable, but since we saw it coming it didn’t devastate us. As of this writing, we have raised 50% of our required monthly support, and that’s simply not enough to be able to make the move. Priority 1 Ministries is a small organization and does not have large reserves we can draw from. Thus, if we’ll need it, we have to raise it.

Looking back, it was rather an ambitious goal to raise what we needed to raise in the time we had. Now, because we’re postponing, we can spread the word even more, get more people involved and on our team, and do a better job preparing for the task we believe God is holding for us.

In fact, there are a number of significant advantages to postponing:

• Ginny can attend 1^st grade at her current school, and has a whole year to prepare mentally and emotionally for switching schools
• We can gradually get rid of our excess stuff (Amazing how it accumulates, isn’t it?)
• We can gradually replace what needs to be replaced or purchase what needs to be purchased
• We don’t have to clean our house just yet :)
• Juliet will be a year older and we won't need to keep all the baby clothes we have
• We can visit more churches, Sunday School classes, small groups, etc.
• We can prepare spiritually for the job and life awaiting us in the Bronx – when there’s a specific goal, preparations and practices that often become rote take on new meaning and urgency
• We can give more to the people in our lives right here, right now

So now the plan is to move in the summer of 2014, probably in June. Since we have more time to prepare, we can plan to move at the beginning of the summer instead of the end, and we’ll be able to work with the youth groups who come up to run Bible Clubs. The school we found for Ginny said that they would hold our deposit for next year – which is a real blessing, because we didn’t know how that would work out.

To those of you who have pledged regular support: If you would like to wait to continue your giving until we get closer to our departure date, that’s completely fine with us – we understand entirely. If you would like to continue to give, while we plan and prepare here in Pennsylvania, you are absolutely welcome to do that as well. We only ask that if you choose to hold off on your giving, please send us a quick note, so that we can keep track of our pledges more accurately. Either way, THANK YOU for your generous support! We are truly grateful!

Kickstarting a Toad

They raised $50,000 for their cause in a single day. Surprised and elated at their success, they decided to set a “stretch goal” of $150,000, which they achieved in just under a month. More than 4500 people (and counting) have donated to their cause, and now there is a second stretch goal of $250,000. As of the moment I write this, they have raised more than $188,000. 

They are Toad the Wet Sprocket, a uniquely-named band who gained relative fame in the 1990s, who broke up 15 years ago, and who have now reunited and recorded a new studio album. Their noble “cause”? They wish to distribute their album independent of major label control. They are running their campaign through Kickstarter, a “crowd-sourcing” website that makes use of social media.

I know all of this because I am a fan. I came to know Toad the Wet Sprocket in high school and own all their full albums and several of their LPs. Their fan base, while relatively small, is passionate and committed, and apparently remains so even 15 years later. And 4500 of them gave the band money to make a new album. Contributions range from $1 to $1500, so not only is the fan base passionate and committed, they also have some expendable income.

I reflect upon the things we give our money to, as well as why we give it. How do we assign a worth to a cause? How do we choose from among the countless worthy causes that exist? Everywhere we turn, someone needs money: national and international charities, local non-profits, passionate politicians, the church you attend, the high school softball team, your kid’s dance studio, super PACs, and on and on. How to decide??

Now, one thing that Kickstarter fundraisers do is offer increasing rewards for higher donations. For $50, for example, a donor would receive an early digital download of the album (with four bonus tracks) and a special edition CD signed by the band. For a whopping $10,000 donation, Toad will come to your house (or wherever you want) and perform a special concert for you and however many people can fit in your backyard. And there are a number of levels of rewards in between. So, we could say that the 4500 people who gave money to Toad’s “cause” aren’t really making a charitable contribution, but rather they are making a purchase. It’s a quid pro quo: Their fifty bucks doesn’t come back void, it gets them something in return.

What do we get in return for truly generous giving? What do we get in return for cooking a meal for someone who just got through surgery or had a baby? What do we receive for putting our change in the Salvation Army bucket at Christmas? What is the benefit of giving money to a missionary who wants to go someplace you might never go yourself? If these are investments, what is the return?

We’re raising support, too, and sometimes I wish we could give a tangible “return” to those who give to us. That way all involved could point to something specific. The Kingdom of God rarely works in such a linear fashion, however, though the rewards Jesus describes are absolutely guaranteed. They just aren’t always directly quantifiable. For our part, we can keep you informed about us and what’s going on, and thus you can feel a part of our ministry. We can pray regularly for you – that’s something, right? We can host you when you come to visit us in the Bronx (wink wink) and show you around the city. But the real return for generosity comes from God, not from us, and we honestly have no idea how He will choose to return your investment. That’s for Him to decide.

Fifty thousand dollars in one day. If we can raise that much in a year we will be elated.

And if you were wondering, yes, I did contribute to Toad’s fundraiser. I figured that I was going to buy the album when it came out anyway, so I might as well pay the $15 and get the bonus tracks. It was worth it, right? It was a worthy cause, right? I got a return on my investment, right?

Crunch Time!

Our family of five

Crunch time! OK, here’s how things stand with us: We have raised almost half of our monthly support, which leaves –naturally – the other half of our support to raise. A nice round number to use is $2000 per month in regular, pledged support – that’s what we still need. We have gotten a number of one-time gifts and multiple donations from monthly givers, but the most important number we’re tracking is monthly pledges.

We have had the opportunity to speak to a couple of our home-church Sunday School classes in the past couple of weeks and have another engagement lined up for this Sunday. We’d love to say that we gained several more monthly supporters from each, but if we did, we don’t know about them. We have another one lined up, then less than a month and a half to raise the rest of our support. If that doesn’t happen…

Before we talk about Plan B, let’s talk about August 10^th. On that day, the first tuition payment to Ginny’s school is due, so we’re using August 10^th as a decision deadline for ourselves. The question isn’t if we will have enough money to make the payment (we do), the question is if we will have enough support raised to make the physical move to the Bronx in time for school to start. If we don’t, then we won’t make the payment because we won’t be moving this Fall.

Plan B is pretty simple: Don’t move to the Bronx yet. Hold off for at least a semester, perhaps a year, until we can raise our full support. We would remain at our church and job and keep Ginny in her current elementary school for 1^st grade. We don’t know how delaying a year would affect Ginny’s spot in the school in New York – that’s something we still need to find out, though we imagine she’d simply have to apply again in the same way she did this year. Let us say this, though: Even if we do resort to Plan B and don’t move this Fall, we will still move to the Bronx, just at a later date. We believe strongly that God has called us there, so we’re going. We just don’t know when.

We’re torn about which is more daunting to us at this point: staying or going. It’s kind of a toss-up right now. Raising another $2000 a month and then moving in a whirlwind to the Bronx would be absolutely insane. But then, the thought of staying for another semester or year after all the buildup of the last several months seems just as formidable.

PLEASE PRAY. We need more supporters! We need more faith and trust and belief and boldness and…. The list goes on and on.

PLEASE GIVE. We need YOU! We ask you to pray about coming on our support team. We need all the prayer support and financial support we can get! Simply email us and we can get you all the information you need.

Thank you for the support, love, and encouragement you have already given! It means the world to us.

Wherefore art thou Juliet?

It was Thursday, May 9^th, at approximately 7am. This was actually our second visit to the maternity wing in three days, what with the false alarm we had on the 7^th. Since that visit came to nothing, we fell back on the original plan of a scheduled induction on the 9^th. Worked out better that way anyway: We had someone to watch the older girls and I had already planned to take those days off of work.

We got checked in and Bethany got her IV going – she was Strep B positive and had to have a course of antibiotics before they would induce. We were familiar with this process because the same thing happened when Cora was born. This time, however, I knew that if I wanted to leave the hospital to go get anything (a sub for lunch or Starbucks, for example), that I should go early in the process rather than later in the day (a lesson I learned the hard way when I almost missed Cora’s birth because I was getting a sub at Quizno’s). This time I made sure Bethany was set, then I scampered out to get my big coffee at Starbucks (I had a coupon).

I think Bethany and I both had it in mind that the day could stretch on for a while. How pleasant for all concerned, then, when it got to be 2:47pm and, after pushing for a mere 20 minutes, Bethany brought our third daughter, Juliet, into the world. In contrast to our older two girls, who both had light, sparse hair on their pink heads, Juliet came out with a full head of dark brown hair. She also cried immediately, a glorious sound that indicates her little lungs are working properly. Her name, Juliet Paige, is a combination of the two names we liked the most. Juliet literally means “soft-haired” and is associated with more than one strong female literary character. Paige means “servant,” and we as her parents take seriously our task of raising her to serve her Lord Jesus Christ.

 

She had a bit of trouble eating in the hospital, so the nurses rigged up this bottle-and-tube contraption to get some formula into her while Bethany was feeding her. The doctor was mildly concerned at her one-week appointment that she wasn’t gaining weight quickly enough, but a week later she had caught up and doctor and mommy relieved their worries.

Now, our dark-haired beauty is three and a half weeks old, doing well, sleeping 3-4 hours at a time during the night (as good as we could hope, really, at this point), and keeping us on our toes. It’s only been three years or so since we did this baby thing last, but I had forgotten some things: how much they spit up, how floppy they are, how great it is to have your Sunday School class bring you dinner every other night for a couple of weeks (thanks guys!), and how awesome and terrifying it is to be now wholly responsible for a tiny human person. Praise be to God for His grace, because the task is far above our heads.

Major life events for May 2013: Have baby girl – CHECK!

OK, what’s next?

April 2013 Update

Here are some of the questions we’ve gotten recently:

How are things going with moving to the Bronx?

        Slowly. But surely.

Wrestling with Daddy: A favorite pastime

When are you planning on moving?

Well, Ginny starts school in the beginning of September, so before that. We’re thinking July or August, but probably August.

So what do I have to do to support you guys?

Great question! Thanks for asking! A newsletter mailing is imminent, and there will be a response card contained inside. If you want one, email us at gregandbethany@gmail.com to let us know. You can also give right through our blog using the "Donate" button on the right. 

How much are you trying to raise?

We estimate it will cost about $4900/month to live and do ministry in the Bronx. Large chunks of that number come from rent and health insurance.

When should I start my regular donations?

Ginny is looking forward to her new baby sister!

If possible, please start as soon as you can. We will be downsizing from a house to an apartment, and we will move as efficiently as possible, but there are always significant costs associated with moving.

When is the baby due? Boy or girl? Do you have a name picked out?

May 10^th. Girl (that will make 3). And no name yet – that’s the secret we keep :)

Would you like to come speak to my Sunday School class, small group, or church?

         We’d love to! Contact us with         details.
Did you, Greg, submit your resignation from your position leading worship at your church effective May 31st to focus more on your Priority 1 work and raising support for your move to the Bronx later this year?
          Yes.

Please let us know if you are interested in supporting us financially. Every donation counts, no matter how small. 

We Sent the Check

We had a dilemma. Kind of. Well, at first it seemed like a dilemma, but the more we talked about it and prayed about it, the less it seemed like one. We had to choose whether or not to do something, but dilemmas typically involve two relatively equal options, either equally positive or equally negative, and our current situation ultimately didn’t meet the criteria.

We could either send in the registration check to Manhattan Christian Academy, the school we fell in love with and would like our daughter to attend in the fall, OR we could wait to send the check until we raised more financial support and we were more confident that we will, indeed, be relocating to the Bronx later this year. There were several things to consider:

1: We can’t wait too long, because it’s not a big school and someone else may just jump in and take Ginny’s spot. OK, so send the check!

2: The fee is nonrefundable. If somehow we’re unable to make the move by August, we’d be out $325. OK, so wait for a bit!

3: If we lose the spot, we’d be starting from scratch with where to send Ginny for school. So, send the check!

4:  It’s big and scary and daunting to make this commitment before we have, well, any support at all to stand on. Um, yeah, that is a little scary. Good luck with that one.

We sent the check.

Whenever we described the “dilemma” to someone, it went something like this: “We have to decide whether we should commit to reserving a spot for Ginny, and step out on faith that we’ll get the support we need, or if we should wait until we have more of that support in before we make any definite plans.”

The more we stated the problem, the more it sounded to our own ears like this: “We need to decide if we should trust in God or trust in the money we’re trying to raise.”

Yeah, doesn’t sound so much like a dilemma anymore. We'd much rather put our faith in God than in money. Those two options are definitely not equal.

Does it make sense to reserve a spot for Ginny before we're 100% sure that we'll be able to move to New York this summer? We think so, because we want to live by faith and not by sight. It’s definitely still scary, but playing it safe is totally overrated.

Escape from Nemo

It was the quickest trip we ever made to New York City.

Ginny, our 6 year-old, had a placement test scheduled at a Christian school we’re looking into. When we took a tour of the place we really liked it and could easily envision Ginny scampering around with the kids we encountered, and so we decided to go ahead and put in an application. All new students must take a placement test to determine their academic levels and knowledge, and it needed to be done soon. Hey, let’s make a family fun time out of it! we thought. That may take some of the sting out of it for Ginny. (We hoped to make it as fun as possible for our daughters, especially Ginny, who thoroughly enjoys New York City itself, but who wells up with tears when she thinks about the possibility of leaving her current elementary school.)

Ever heard the expression, “We plan, and God laughs”? Well, plans changed.

A major snowstorm was forecast for the entire northeast, and New York City was going to get about a foot of snow (or more – every time we checked the weather updates, the totals went up two more inches). We almost canceled the trip, because though it might be possible to make the appointment, we would have to turn right around and come home to avoid getting snowed in.

Ultimately, after praying about it and asking several others to pray, we decided to keep our appointment. We left our house just before 4:30pm on Thursday and arrived a bit after 10pm at Priority 1’s apartment in the Bronx (the drive is that long only because of dinner, gasoline, and potty stops – one could make it in less than four hours if one were less, um, encumbered). We got the girls to bed as quickly as we could, though now they were wired and hyper.

At 7am Friday morning Ginny awoke, much earlier than her parents desired, but hey, it’s better than having to drag her out of bed. Upon looking out the window, we found, to our dismay and alarm, that snow was already falling, and had covered the sidewalks and cars. The streets looked OK, though – one nice thing about winter weather in big cities is the fact that constant traffic flow keeps the roads passable for longer. We called the school and politely asked if there was any way we could come early – the appointment was at 11am – because we were somewhat anxious about getting out of town. They said that we could come in whenever we could get there, and that they would work around our schedule.

Needless to say, we quickened our steps.

We got to the school about 10:30, half an hour before her actual appointment, and they took Ginny back after just a couple of minutes. I (Greg) had just enough time to repark the van – apparently I was in danger of being towed away where I’d parked – and come back inside the school to dry my snow-soaked head, when Ginny hops out of the room where she’d had her test, about 20 minutes after she went in. She looked happy, and the woman who gave her the test said she’d done just fine.

Well then. After a couple of questions for the admin director, we skedaddled. It was just after 11am, when Ginny’s test was originally supposed to begin. Whew!

Roads were fine, just wet really, though there was a slippery spot or two in New Jersey. To make up for not doing anything fun in the city, we let the girls get a donut on the way home, and we even stopped at Cabela’s to look at the dead animals. Ginny liked the moose the best. We got home at about 5pm, just over 24 hours after we left.

On Monday, Bethany got a call from the school. They would love to have Ginny attend there and when we pay the registration fee, her spot will be reserved for her.

We hadn’t expected such a quick response. We suddenly find ourselves having to commit to an actual date on the calendar, which doesn’t seem that difficult, except we hardly have any financial support raised yet. Do we step out in faith that God will provide what we need in time, or is it more prudent to wait until we’re on more secure financial footing? If we wait, the spot at the school may disappear; we have to decide soon.

Pray for us! We need more wisdom and discernment and faith and trust and love every day.

Safe in the Bronx -- Really!

We have noticed that when we tell people we're moving to the Bronx, they often respond with something less than enthusiasm, not because they question our motives or calling, but because the only associations many people have with the Bronx -- other than the Yankees, which may well inspire widespread animosity -- is that of a violent, lawless, danger-zone. We tell people that New York is actually a very safe city, one of the safest big cities in America, that we've been there a number of times and have always felt safe there.

Notice how I've used the word "safe" three times already? (Four now, I guess.)

Well, here's some outside confirmation. This story from NPR talks about the declining murder rate in New York City and about who should get the credit. Ultimately, we don't care too much about handing out credit, but the fact remains: New York City is a safe place.

Really!

Scouting Trip

I was stingy with my vacation days in 2012, so I had a full week left that I had to use by the end of January, so Bethany and I took a long weekend (with the support of Bethany’s mom who watched our girls while we were gone – thanks Gayle!) and came up to the Bronx for what we’re calling a scouting trip. We have several basic questions to answer about moving to the Bronx this summer:

• Where will we live?
• Where will our girls go to school?
• Should one (or both) of us get a job of some kind, even if only part-time?

Each one of these questions will take considerable time and energy to answer. We understand that. They will likely not be answered quickly, or with one visit, or with one meeting. We understand all that as well.

Doesn’t mean we like it, just that we understand it.

Foggy fire escape at night

Regardless, you gotta start somewhere. So we made several appointments with several people with the goal of making progress toward answering one or more of our basic questions.

We talked to a friend of ours, Dorine, who works closely with Fellowship Chapel and the breakfast ministry they run, and who works for the public school system. We had lunch with her and she told us some good stuff about how it all works in the city, because it’s rather different from school systems in PA that we’re used to. For example, elementary schools are based on where you live (that’s the same), but for high school, kids can essentially go anywhere they want in the city (that’s not the same). There are private schools and charter schools and Catholic schools and good public schools and less good public schools.

OK, good. Lots of stuff to think about.

From Dorine's balcony

Then she showed us her apartment on the 25^th floor. Quite the view from 25 floors up.

The next morning we had an appointment at Manhattan Christian Academy, a K-8 school that's been around since the 1970's. We knew of the school because Priority 1 has helped out with an after-school program called Operation Exodus that operates there. We got the tour, poked our heads in a couple of classrooms, and got to have a decent talk with the principal, as well as to share with them who we are and what our story is. I told the husband/principal and wife/admin counselor that I really liked the "spirit of the place," that there was a good, peaceful feeling there, and they responded that they've heard people say similar things before. We really liked the school. One possible concern: They said that for next year's 1st grade class, we would essentially have to apply now. Eek.

Then we went straight to the World Vision Storehouse and met with the director, Tim, to talk very generally about what we were doing and if there were any options for partnering with them there. Priority 1 has been bringing groups there for a long time, because they always need help (anybody relate to that?). What with my several years of warehouse experience, we thought there would be potential there. And there still may be, but not right at this moment.

Thanks, Diana and Daryl!

And that’s where a lot of this stands: Possibility exists, but it won’t work out right now, in this moment.

Our questions remain unanswered, but we met some great people, got to walk around this town some more, and got to worship with some great people on Sunday morning (I even got conscripted into playing my guitar and singing backup, which was fun).

We had a couple of smaller tasks before we headed home Tuesday morning, but they mostly involved food we intended to purchase and take back with us. Chambersburg, we love ya, but you can’t match the bagels and Parmigiano-Reggiano we can get here.

Freaking Out Our Friends

I freaked out another friend last night. He asked if we planned on staying in our current house when our third child arrives in May. I told him that we were planning on moving, but not because of the baby: We want to move to New York this summer.

“New York? You mean upstate, or the city, or…”

“Um, the Bronx.”

“The Bronx?!”

I could hear the shock in his voice, and his unspoken follow-up, which was either “But it’s so dangerous!” or “Are you crazy?!”

His response, Bethany and I have noted, is not uncommon. Apparently the Bronx has a reputation.

He seemed to recoil for a moment. I had alarmed the coils right out of him.

So I explained what and why and (we hope) when. He asked what kinds of people we would be living among, that is, what the ethnic makeup of the neighborhood would be. I said that it would be mostly Hispanic, though the Bronx’s Little Italy is only a couple of blocks away, and there are a good number of west Africans there too. It is New York City, after all, so there are all kinds of people there.

He also asked about money, and how far along we were in our fundraising. We’re still pretty early in that process, I said, though we have started gathering something called a MOST Team around us (It’s kind of like a prayer team who also acts like an advisory board), and that our church missions committee was fully on board with us, as are our pastor and church staff.

Then we talked about lots of other things: politics, Germany, accordions, hurricanes, and kindergarten.

My friend asked his question because he wanted to know if we were looking for a bigger house once we become a family of five. Ironically, we will likely be getting a smaller place after the baby is born. Funny, huh?